


Why me?

by Mythxlxgical



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: All I fucking write is angst, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Panic, Self Hatred?, enjoy, platonic husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythxlxgical/pseuds/Mythxlxgical
Summary: Anxiety Attack endures after the Syndicate Visit..TW; Anxiety Attacks and Self Hatred.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo/Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 181





	Why me?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoy this writing, I haven't been in the writing mood lately until a friend reminded me of this quote, and I spent the next hour writing this. If you like it send over a kudos and share it with some friends! Enjoy!
> 
> This writing is based on their Minecraft personas, not the creators themselves.  
> Platonic husbands here, please don't take it anyway else. 
> 
> THANKS!

_"Why do you need nukes?" Techno laughed, turning to stare at Tubbo- who froze when the question was asked. It took a few moments before there was an answer._

_"Because people scare me"_

Tubbo sat in the corner of his bedroom, staring blankly in front of him, breathing heavily as he tried to calm down- but there was no way he was already way too far gone. It had started about 10 minutes ago- after Techno, Niki and Ranboo had left- the visit went...fine? But- he hated being questioned like that, hated that he was still seen as something that he _wasn't_ anymore, why couldn't people see that he was changed? That- he wasn't the same person he was a month or whatever ago!? 

Ever since Doomsday, he had been off by himself- trying this best to keep himself out of conflict, and he thought he was doing a great job- and..well he made nukes, what the hell was so bad about it? He did it for his own protection, he did it to keep himself..his friends safe. He wouldn't use them willy nilly. He wasn't a dumb kid, everyone just pinned that on him, and for god sake he actually hated it. 

"S-Shit'' the tears fell faster now, chest aching, vision blurry from tears- what even set him off? He couldn't recall, he just remembered the way back, everyone leaving, and well now here he was, panicking in his room..god he wished Ranboo hadn't left- he could really use him at the moment. 

Shakily the younger pulled his communicator up and saw a message there- seeing it was from Ranboo he quickly read it. 

_Ranboo whispered to you: I'll be back, I promise._

Tubbo swallowed, seeing it was about 10 minutes that message was sent, and he now wondered if he actually even was going to come back- or if Techno would threaten Ranboo to never see him again, even though the visit was fine? Maybe Techno had something against him still- it seemed like that when he kept bugging and prying at him with his fucking questions.. 

A soft hiccup came from the ram hybrid, closing his eyes tightly at the thought of everything that had just happened- there was no way? Ranboo wouldn't believe Techno..right? Ranboo wouldn't...

Ranboo was mostly silent during the visit, he seemed tense- and scared, well..Tubbo wouldn't blame him- they did have a son together- and here Techno was snooping around the commune..yes...a commune, trying to find _something_ anything to bring up and throw in Tubbos face- and fight with him about.

God he was _so fucking sick_ of all the fighting that was happening, he wanted it to stop. Why do they think he's kept to himself? To Tommy? He couldn't even do that anymore- Tommy was _gone_ all he had left was Ranboo and Micahel, and the thought of losing them- it broke him even more.

"Why..Why me" he pulled his knees to his chest and let out a broken sob- his shoulders shaking, barely able to catch his breath- oh god his chest was tightening again.

"Tubbo?" a voice called from downstairs- the door shutting behind the tall enderman, who was attempting to look for his husband. "Bee?"

"Boo" a voice called out, broken and small- unable to even communicate at this point.

Ranboo barely heard it, but made his way upstairs quickly, only too see Tubbo backed into a corner, face red- cheeks stained from crying. "Oh hun.." the enderman whispered and moved towards the other, sitting in front of the hybrid, not sure if he wanted to be touched. 

"Take a deep breathe, it's alright- I'm here now, I'm so sorry I had to go back with them, to make sure that they didn't think it was suspicious- I am so so sorry Tubbo-" the enderman started, wincing when he heard another sob. 

"Alright- it's okay..we're alright- everything is okay. Techno is fine, he won't.." he just trailed off and realized it wasn't probably helping with Tubbos panic attack.

"Listen to me, alright?" 

A small nod was all he got in return. 

"Listen to my breathing, and copy it" Ranboo moved so their knees were touching, taking one of Tubbos hands and lacing their fingers together as he slowly started to breathe to start calming down Tubbo.

Tubbo followed along, why was Ranboo helping him? He didn't deserve the male- he didn't deserve to have such a great friend- he didn't deserve any of this. 

"hey- it's alright" Ranboo could see the other start to get frustrated...? He couldn't tell. "Just..focus on breathing" 

And Tubbo did so- he wanted to calm down, his head was now pounding, and god he was tired. He wanted to just get past all of these stupid fucking feelings. This is why he kept to himself with those feelings, so nobody else had to deal with them.

"God- make it stop" he whispered and closed his eyes tighter and held onto Ranboos hand tighter, letting out a shaky breath as he tried to listen to Ranboos breathing.

It took them about 13 minutes before Tubbo was finally coming down from his attack, having started up again in the middle for something stupid- a thunderstorm had started and it just shocked him right back into that panic.

"I'm sor..sorry you had to see that Boo" he whispered and hiccuped, moving to wipe his tears. "I...I didn't..mean too" 

"Tubbo, you don't need to apologize, you can't control how you feel about things, and it's perfectly fine, I am right here and I will always be right here for you" he smiled and rubbed the others hand with his thumb. "Cmon, lets..get you up to bed and you can relax a little better alright?"

"Mmm.." came from the ram hybrid, tired as hell already. He looked up at the taller male and held out his arms, smiling lightly when he was picked up and heard the other chuckle. "Th-Thanks again.." 

"Anytime Bee, I am always here for you." Ranboo sighed softly and lead the other towards the bed and laid him down, covering him up and pulling away..he sighed softly as he watched Tubbo for a moment, watching as he fell asleep quickly. 

A ping was heard from the male's communicator, and Ranboo looked at his wrist, tilting his head to the side pulling it up he stared at the message for a moment before he looked at Tubbo and sighed softly. He made sure Tubbo was tucked in carefully, before going to check on Michael, seeing him still asleep in his bed. "Thank god.." he whispered to himself before he climbed back down to the first floor of the house, checking his communicator once more.

 _Dream whispered to you; Where are you._ five minutes ago

 _Ranboo whispered to Dream; On my way_ just now 

Ranboo took one last look at the house before he pulled on his coat, and headed out towards the prison.


End file.
